31 January 1995

There were many responses to the letter I even was messaged by some saying they wish they had the courage to share their story one post spoke of the anguish of Long distance relationships …you answered that post so eloquently I would like to include that letter as today‚Äôs entry.

“focus in long-distance rels”

At 01:08 AM 2/2/95 -0400, a submissive wrote of her situation and referred to my letter

This is the agony I speak of in my letter. You gave form to the pain and anguish in a way I could not. I would urge any who are considering long distance d/s to read the letter you wrote over and over again and understand that this is what you will experience as a sub every few days; also Masters read it carefully before you consider entering into a long distance d/s relationship because it is you who will be the brunt and focus for this anguish, this confusion, and this constant questioning of you, your role in the sub’s life, and the entire relationship that has formed.

You answered to that

I think I’ll take a moment to interject here and state.. If you feel you have found ‘The One’ you have waited for all your life.. the brunt of occasional confusion and doubt is well worth it… the trade off is a no-brainer in my opinion. I have several friends living happily in flesh to flesh D/s relationships and believe me.. occasional confusion and doubt exist there as well. Good relationships are hard work any way you slice it. The fact is ..(smiling) natasha is high maintenance be she flesh or fone. I would have her no other way.. I am afraid I would quickly tire of a slave who was always go-along and get-along. I want her to take risks to please me in new ways.. to be honest with me in spite of her fear of disappointing me (which for natasha is far worse than any whip i could lay upon her bottom). I need to be challenged… I enjoy having to internally question my techniques.. Evaluate my philosophy.. and natasha challenges me in the most wonderful of ways… I never ever punish her for a thought or a feeling.. even though it may displease me.. only for her actual behavior will she be chastened.

For all things of worth there is a price or sacrifice.. for all sacrifices there is a gain.. There are times natasha is so hungry for me she sobs in my arms.. and I’d be lying if I said my eyes always remained dry.. I’ll tell you this.. the cab driver to takes us to the Plaza Hotel from LaGuardia… is going to be one lucky son of a bitch (hey… keep your eyes on the road pal )…This of course assumes we even make it out of the airport.. I’m considering bribing a customs agent to borrow his interrogation room… Where I’ll give natasha a devilish strip and see if she is concealing any contraband.. and THAT of course assumes we even make it off the tarmac without natasha pouncing on me.. tackling me and bathing me with kisses from head to toe.. (something she often threatens me with).

So.. anyone who says maintaining long distance relationships is hard.. is absolutely 100% correct.. It will definitely separate those who are dead serious from those who are merely playing… I *MUST* be able to rely on natasha to respond to my verbal commands.. if she does not… or refuses.. there is little I can do.. but threaten her with future embarrassment in public.. an unpleasant last resort which I have never needed.

The 1500 miles between us is not so bad.. we are only six hours away by plane. If that’s all it was.. we would be together.. we are both professionals… so it would not be a tremendous hardship to fly out to either coast once or twice per month (probably less than the phone bills.. gawd… laughing).. until one or the other could move.. Its the unfinished business, and prior commitments we are both cleaning up that keeps us from tasting one another. We are marking days on the calendar.. and fortunately.. time is flying.. our trust..and knowledge of one another deepens.. But it always seems to be a ‘two step forward… one step backward’ situation. I’ve..(we’ve) accepted that such is the nature of the beast.

natasha always asks permission before posting a message that involves the both of us.. especially if it shows our frailties. I’ve never prevented her from posting anything.. even if it seems to cast a bad light upon me or us. I am human.. my slave accepts my humanness.. as do my friends.. and most importantly.. I accept my own… I consider what we have to be perfect.. But that means.. perfect in all its ebb and flow.

The way I see it.. everyone should be as lucky as I am.. to have even a long distance relationship with a woman like natasha.. I love her so..


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