Entries Tagged as 'November 1994'

30 November 1994

The Orgasm Of Our Souls

{natasha} Master I must leave you now
{Artful} page me if I am not here
{natasha} though in essence I never leave you
{Artful} please enjoy your dinner
{natasha} yes master
{natasha} Master
{Artful} if you enjoy yourself
{Artful} I will be very pleased
{Artful} each bite you eat
{Artful} you eat for me
{Artful} as you swallow each bite
{Artful} feel me enter your belly
{Artful} filling you
{natasha} Yes master
{natasha} I will
{Artful} each sip of liquid
{Artful} is fluid from my body
{Artful} let it flow into you
{Artful} radiate through you
{Artful} my thoughts are on you so completely
{Artful} so fully
{Artful} so perfectly
{natasha} you are all that flows through me
{Artful} I love you natasha
{natasha} from the suns warmth
{Artful} you are me
{natasha} to the breeze
{Artful} beyond ownership
{natasha} the very air I breath
{Artful} you are me
{natasha} the food that sustains me
{natasha} the passion that inflames me
{natasha} I call out to you with every breath I take
{natasha} you are every touch on my skin
{Artful} and each of mine calls you home
{natasha} every caress every sting of the whip
{natasha} you pour into me like an unending river
{Artful} every bead of sweat
{Artful} each drop of blood spilled
{natasha} oh god will this orgasm in my soul not cease
{Artful} no.. natasha..  I hold you in perfect arabesque
{natasha} you penetrate every waking moment and every dream
{natasha} smiles and lifts her leg higher behind her
{Artful} press you..  sustain your climax..
{natasha} her back straight hands clasped together
{Artful} until you are a lifeless pile of sweet flesh..
{Artful} for me to consume..
{Artful} and give birth to you again
{Artful} reborn through  me
{natasha} oh god master
{Artful} new life through me
{natasha} No hidden illusions just raw flesh and soul
{Artful} yes
{Artful} succulent
{Artful} rare
{Artful} juicy
{natasha} Master god I must tear myself away
{natasha} take care my Master
{natasha} keep me safe in your soul
{natasha} Feast on my love as I feast on yours
{Artful} you are me natasha
{Artful} you are me
{Artful} always and forever
{natasha} I know I can never erase you from me no matter what
tomorrow might bring
{natasha} even in death you will exist with in me
{Artful} yes we will never die to one another
{natasha} Master till we are together again
{natasha} I adore you

29 November 1994

And the orgasm of our souls continues

{natasha} you feed my pain with your whip so I can release it
{Artful} yes
{Artful} and I want to raise welts on your innocent skin
{Artful} take you places you’ve never been
{natasha} I feed your soul with my cries as you caress my
innocent  skin
{natasha} everything I do lets me know I am yours
{natasha} every where I turn there you are
{Artful} I want you to cry into my mouth
{natasha} your Dominion echoes throughout me
{Artful} take your fluids into my mouth
{Artful} all of you
{Artful} no limits
{Artful} god how you thrill me
{Artful} god I need you
{natasha} Mystical dreams in an world so grounded…. a miracl?e

28 November 1994

To `natasha on Thanksgiving

I love you with all my heart natasha. How can I possibly thank you for the gift of your life. I know the following words are inadequate but I hope they can convey at least a glimpse of how I feel.

Your Loving Master,

The Flame of the Rose

Oh God thank you for my redolent flame, the crowning glory of my soul
The fated culmination of her resignation and my redemption
The amazing coalescence of our symbiotic dichotomy
Her obsequious devotion, and the elegance of her acquiescent grace
The peaceful sanctuary of our circumferential exchange
The thrill of our dark entrechat, and the laughter in our joyus pirouette
To hold her in perfect arabesque, for a moment and a moment more, then a little longer still
Our effusive love, and the cataclysmic passion of our sensual conflux
The slow ascent to our violent convulse, to the ardent death in tender embrace
The wonderous blossom of her rubescent petals, glistening with a fervant dew
Even the occasional piquant thorn, for it reputes the sanctity of our bonded soul

For all this and more than I could possibly articulate in 10 lifetimes I humbly bow my head in thanks giving.

27 November 1994


The Orgasm Of Souls Continues…Exploding

{natasha} my explosion continues
{Artful} I love you (said sweetly.. chuckling)
{natasha} this unending orgasm of love leaves me not yet
{natasha} I love you also My master
{natasha} I lay prostrate at your feet
{Artful} yes
{natasha} yours to use to bring you pleasure
{natasha} we are a work of art
{Artful} and I desire to stand naked before you
{natasha} a masterpiece in my eyes
{Artful} stripped of my shame
{natasha} you bare your very soul to me
{natasha} all the Time
{Artful} fully aroused
{Artful} to take you
{Artful} you are in season for my passion
{natasha} and yet your Dominion and my respect even in my naughty
moments never leaves me
{Artful} open .. wet
{Artful} pleading
{natasha} yes Master I am …..yours …since the dawn of
time…sweet wetness waiting for you to drink from
{Artful} you may explore all of me natasha
{Artful} no part of my body or soul is off limits to you
{natasha} smiles….it will be as if I explore my self
{Artful} smiles
{natasha} for in you is my true self
{Artful} god I am so hard
{natasha} my bond to you is my freedom
{natasha} you are the colors of my rainbow
{natasha} and the shadows in my night
{natasha} oh god master
{natasha} I think I will burst
{natasha} bound in a sacred promise we face eternity
{Artful} I want to release my seed deep into your body
{Artful} to fill you with my fluid
{Artful} to course through your veins
{natasha} you  are the nourishment for my flower the seed that
makes my life bloom
{natasha} oh god master
{Artful} natasha..
{natasha} yes master
{Artful} I want to drink you
{Artful} all of you
{Artful} no limits
{natasha} our intimacy has no bounds
{natasha} we will feed each other mind body and soul
{Artful} yes
{Artful} oh god how I want you
{Artful} need you

26 November 1994

The Orgasm Of Souls Continues

{Artful} seeing your nick appear rocked me
{natasha} oh Master Thank you
{Artful} my breathing is still ragged
{natasha} smiles we have much to be thankful for this year
{Artful} oh god yes
{Artful} yes we do
{natasha} Many tears have been shed
{natasha} Many more moments of laughter
{natasha} But most of all our souls found their home
{Artful} yes
{Artful} they have been completed
{Artful} made whole
{natasha} I feel your spirit when the wind touches my hair and
lifts it from my neck I feel your warmth and love when the sun
caresses my skin
{Artful} sigh
{Artful} smiling
{Artful} god how I love you
{natasha} I feel how your Dominion purifies me when water washes
across my skin
{natasha} I see you when I close my eyes your image burned into
my soul
{natasha} I see you my Dark prince when the night surrounds me
{natasha} and I see the hope of eternal love when the morning
light opens my eyes
{Artful} oh god natasha
{natasha} We are two souls in an unending symphony
{Artful} oh god I am rocked
{natasha} two bodies in an unending dance
{natasha} you captured my soul before the beginning of time…
{Artful} you were mine before you were conceived
{natasha} I put my life in your hands and lay my body out before you
{Artful} you knew me when you were in your mothers womb
{Artful} oh god natasha
{natasha} My lips to your feet My entire self revealed
{Artful} my foot is upon your neck
{Artful} my hands reaching in to your chest to caress your heart
{natasha} Yours Master since the dawn of time till  the final
night of forever
{natasha} Your touch your foot on my neck brings a smile to my life
{Artful} I am your alpha and your omega
{Artful} your beginning and your end
{natasha} some words do not have to be spoken
{natasha} our fragrance fills the room
{natasha} oh god I can not stop spilling over
{Artful} you are my redolent flame
{natasha} you are the rock in my ocean
{natasha} you are the glow in my heart
{Artful} and you are my resurrection
{natasha} but most of all you are my Master
{Artful} god how I love you natasha
{natasha} You are my eternal flame
{Artful} I am stunned
{Artful} floating
{natasha} Oh god Master I think I will burst
{Artful} in another dimension
{natasha} There is such peace in our oneness and yet an exhilaration
{Artful} yes.. I could lay down and sleep .. yet I’m on the edge of my
{natasha} our unseen wings carry us to a place I could never have
know existed
{Artful} I am explosive
{Artful} I am so gone to the world
{natasha} Your Dominion is  a universe my submission is its home
{Artful} oh god natasha
{Artful} god how I need you
{natasha} my submission is a world and your Dominion is its creator
{natasha} we exist in a parallel universe that I could only
wonder about before
{natasha} The height of awareness you have brought me to is a
place I could not even imagine soaring to…till you gathered me to you
for eternity
{Artful} oh god how I want to take you right now
{natasha} I have no idea what I just said
{natasha} but I know we exploded in an orgasm of the soul

25 November 1994

Master the next several days I will enter some moments that you and I have decided are orgasms of our soul. They are moments when we explode with your Dominion and my surrender…moments when we speak the same thought at the same instant… Looking through logs I have found these and would like to preserve them …moments so intense so moving at times I laugh at times I cry at times we both sit back silent and stare at our screen silent for many moments…

I adore you my Master

Orgasms Of Our Soul.

{Artful} natasha’s Dark Prince and Loving Master
{natasha} Living in sweet surrender to Artful
{Artful} hello my darling my slave
{natasha} thank you Master for the lovely poem I adore you
{Artful} my thoughts have not left you
{natasha} nor have my thoughts left you
{Artful} god I love you
{Artful} god I need you
{natasha} I need you
{natasha} I am still asleep… but filled with you
{natasha} you are my reason for thanks giving this year
{Artful} oh god .. I cannot tell you how much you are mine
{natasha} I know with every fiber of my being
{Artful} god my thoughts are on you as if I were to lay my weight
on you
{Artful} all encompassing
{natasha} I have waited a lifetime to find you sometimes in my
I thought the quest was over I looked through windows
through doors thought I had found you and would rejoice but
something was always missing…it was not you so I continued
my search and just
{natasha} when I decided what I sought did not exist there you were
{natasha} and still I did not see it
{Artful} oh god natasha
{natasha} you reached out and gently pulled me into you and there I
will dwell for eternity
{natasha} I adore you master
{Artful} breathing ragged
{Artful} I am overcome with emotion right now
{natasha} smiles, yes Master it was a spilling out of my soul
that threatens to burst at this very moment
{Artful} my heart is in my throat
{Artful} I am intoxicated
{natasha} smiles my heart fills the universe at this instant
{Artful} my extremities tingle
{natasha} my skin tingles
{natasha} and I bask in my slavery
{natasha} smiles perfectly connected souls
{Artful} my natasha
{natasha} a bit dizzy right now
{Artful} I am reeling

24 November 1994

Master, I wanted to write the perfect poem for you…that spoke of who we are… I spent half the night writing thinking of us and could not find the words…and then in a moment a flash these words flowed out

I adore you my Master…


The Dance Of The Master And Slave
The Dark Prince and His Princess Of Light

Softly you call my name and say
“My shadow will embrace your form
I will offer you a taste of pain
soft, sweet, torments on
your burning flesh my angel”

you show me into your eyes
eyes see through me and strip me bare
beyond my shame

unfolding myself to you
I feel the sweetness between my legs
With a whisper, I fall to my knees
and lower my lips to your feet
and whisper Master we will dance in a circle
of light wrapped in your velvet darkness
explore the other’s essence
opposites twined into one
I am forever bound to you
we have found our place of peace

23 November 1994

I have waited a lifetime to find you. Sometimes in my search I thought the quest was over.
I looked through windows, through doors, thought I had found you and would rejoice but something was always missing…it was not you. So I continued my search and just when I decided what I sought did not exist there you were and still I did not see it. You reached out and gently pulled me into you and there I will dwell for eternity

I adore you master

22 November 1994

My Dearest `natasha,

I know there are times you push me.. hungering to feel my dominance. You worry I will tire of your occasional foray into rebellion. I assure you my dear.. my contract and committment to our exchange can certainly withstand a little rebelliousness. The question is (smiling), can your innocent flesh withstand it?

It’s rather incredible how we can be so passionate.. then so violent, and then lovingly fall asleep in each other’s arms over the phone. It’s amazing how our needs seem to be so closely matched.. so perfectly symbiotic. You know my dear.. I really do believe we were made for one another.

Your Loving, Unwavering, and Savagely Relentless Master,

(a card I made for `natasha after last night’s tango)

21 November 1994

Master this entry to my diary is a bit different it includes two letters sent to author Craig Alan who wrote a story called Owner’s Manual

What a story I loved it , it moved me… the dance between a new submissive and a Master…she waiting to explode he guiding her on her path … their path…in so many ways it reminded me of us… You seeing me as I am through the fog I sometimes drape myself in… never succumbing to my charms …laughing but always reaching into me pulling out the truth the real the raw self….I adore you Master…I respect you….And I live to serve you….Thank you for holding me up when I stumble… For being so focused on me … never relenting no matter what else transpires around us I am always your focus…You are a miracle in my life…the dance continues…

Your slave natasha

Below are the letters i wrote to Craig

Dear Craig,

Last night I wrote:

Oh god …. I am shaken to the core and …almost beyond speech what a story ….. What a Master … what a submissive waiting to burst forth …Yes please continue … lets us feel her surrender see her sink into that sea of peace…let us feel her Masters pleasure

submissively yours,


I wrote that to you last night after reading your story still shaking with the essence of D/s…I was just speaking to my Master this morning and we had a nice exchange about how one can ebb and flow in surrender… we discuss it often knowing it can not really be intellectualized but must be felt.

To quote a previous comment of mine

Surrender is so pure, that any connection with knowledge, which is considered to be very innocent and pure…even that must be rejected it just is it can not be explained with words… one must just feel and be in surrender.

To which my Master Artful answered:

“Surrender cannot be intellectualized they are in opposition to one another.”

Your story for me was the essence the dance of surrender the Master pulling the slave in the slave bursting forth at the direction of her Master …exploding…learning …growing…

To say the very least I loved your story it was written exquisitely.

I keep an on-line diary a gift for my master on D/s Kiosk I feel your story belongs there it speaks volumes of surrender and a Masters Power. For now I will link it to http://www.indulgent.com/indulge/arts/ownersmanual.html but I hate to see the story lost if the link disappears…so I am asking your permission to copy the story and format it and link directly to that. Of course we will give you all the proper credits and post your copyright I just can not bear the thought of losing the story that haunts my thoughts so sweetly…

Note: The link has been taken down.

submissively yours,

20 November 1994

I have been struggling with my surrender Master and you have felt it working hard to pull me back in…I do not know why this happens to me but you tell me it is normal the ebb and flow

I am so glad I share all my thoughts with you because nothing ever becomes a major issue … you fix it before it does… this morning I did not come to you but went off to a channel to play… my way to push …to see what you will do to see if you can control me…laughing you would think I would have learnt by now …you are my Master there is no question… but still at times I doubt… And then you show me that this will not be….As the scene below denotes… Thank you Master for protecting this magic we have…. Our way is not for all not it does serve us well… I adore you Master …The dance goes on

{natasha} Yes Master
{Artful} I expect you to come to me when you get on line
{natasha} Yes Master
{Artful} grabs you by your hair and presses you to your knees
{natasha} groans and sinks to her knees
{natasha} Sir
{Artful} op me natasha
{natasha} I am half awake still
{Artful} sits in his chair in front of you..
{Artful} now how about a proper greeting from the
slave who adores me
{natasha} kneels her knees spread well apart, her hands
lightly resting on her soft inner thigh and her
head bowed
{natasha} knowing she is unfocused and scattered
{natasha} trying to sit still and not fidget
{Artful} slides his foot along her inner thigh..
{Artful} touching her exposed lips with his toe
{natasha} I feel a warm dampness between my legs
where you touch me .
{natasha} as your foot slides to my wetness I quiver
{Artful} grabs you by your hair.. and pulls your face to his to taste
your mouth
{Artful} bites your lower lip with his teeth..
{Artful} to help center you
{natasha} I see and feel only you Master your kiss deepens, you take
control, and I feel myself tremble at your touch.
{natasha} Your teeth on my lip making me wince
{Artful} pulls back to firmly grip your face by your chin.. and lifts
your eyes to meet mine.. locking a steely gaze upon you
{Artful} You *will* focus on your Master my dear
{natasha} gazes deeply into Arturo’s eyes, a soft smile on her face
{Artful} you have no option..
{Artful} I am your center.. your guide..
{Artful} and all things in your life will be added through me
{Artful} I will feed you with my deep love…
{Artful} and caress your soft thighs with the fire of my whip
{Artful} sharply slaps his hand onto your inner thigh
{Artful} and firmly grips it
{natasha} Yes Master
{natasha} oh god
{Artful} this is my canvas natasha
{Artful} and I will paint the sky upon you
{natasha} Caressing your face with my tear filled eyes I whisper your
name over and over
{Artful} release his hand to slap it upon your mound.. gripping it
with a savage fury.. shaking it
{natasha} Master I know….and I long to be your canvass I just get
scattered at times
{Artful} squeezing it and my fire will guide you home natasha
{natasha} moans and lifts her pussy to your hand head falling back
{Artful} this pussy is mine for my pleasure for my pain
{Artful} roughly slips 2 fingers between your lips..
{natasha} as I yield into the pain your words pierce through the wall of
{Artful} and into your sweet yielding pussy…
{Artful} pressing his thumb into your clit
{Artful} sliding it back and forth over your clit
{Artful} reaching for a nipple with his free hand..
{Artful} pulling it..
{natasha}  I can no longer keep  still the moans coming from deep in my
chest as I raise my hips to your touch the wetness seeping
arching reaching wanting oh Masterrrrrrrr
{Artful} and twisting it pulling you forward by your nipple
{natasha} I feel a throbbing in the tips of my breast biting back a cry
{Artful} twisting and pulling
{Artful} fucking your little slave pussy with his fingers..
{Artful} massaging your clit with his thumb
{natasha} My cheeks are wet, my white trembling lip held tight between
my teeth A small cry escapes me pain, pleasure, passion a
single tear slides out from eyes …oh goddddddddddddddd
{Artful} you *will* keep me at your center natasha.. or you will
suffer much…..
{Artful} fucks your little pussy even harder.
{Artful} giving your nipple an extra twist
{natasha} gasps and shudders, her legs almost buckling under her
{natasha} oh god the fire coiling within me
{Artful} releases the nipple to grab a handful of hair.. bending your
head to one side..
{Artful} fucking your pussy yet harder..
{natasha} hearing her moans echo through the room a song of passion …
smiles as  your  hands  explore her cries out as it torments
her riding the wave of surrender
{Artful} burning your swelling clit with the friction of his thumb
{Artful} using you like a rag doll..
{natasha} A deep guttural cry erupts from my soul I am for your pleasure
{Artful} to remind you of your place and position
{natasha} I feel my pubic lips become thicker and a spurt of moisture
through them
{Artful} I lift you high my slave…
{natasha} legs trembling
{Artful} but your place is at my feet yes.. even under my feet
{natasha} Yes Master
{Artful} fucks your little slave pussy with a frenzy..
{Artful} sharply pulling your hair..
{Artful} bending your neck
{natasha} bends back oh Master
{Artful} feeling the deluge of your nectar… flood over his hand
{Artful} sloshing noises coming from her pussy.. lips swelling..
{natasha} an inescapable spasm between my legs my body convulses needing
{Artful} clit swelling..
{natasha}  I know I cannot stop what is welling up side of me. My body
starts to quiver and muscles contract and I toss my head from
side to  side, trying to wait for your signal that will allow
me what I desire
{Artful} gripping her hair yet harder
{Artful} come for me NOW my slave..
{natasha} oh goddddddd hair ripping …….
{natasha} Flesh throbbing  mind exploding
{Artful} wildly flails his hand and fingers into her little slave
{Artful} treating it roughly..
{Artful} savagely
{Artful} taking it for his pleasure
{natasha} grabbing you …..my fingers rip at your back
{Artful} fuck it natasha
{Artful} goddammit… . I said FUCK IT
{natasha} I whine, an animal sound, and my body jerks spasmodically,
uncontrollably… oh godddd
{Artful} FUCK IT…
{Artful} come for me my darling slut
{Artful} give me what is mine
{Artful} for only I can allow you the release you need
{natasha} I snap my hips to you lifting screaming oh godddddd yessss
Master  exploding with fury …………….blinding
{Artful} come NOW natasha
{natasha} I jerk the orgasm hits me again and again
{Artful} explode for your Master
{Artful} give it to me
{Artful} NOW
{Artful} continues working his hand to your pussy
{Artful} holding your life in his hand
{Artful} granting you the pleasure you desire..
{natasha} Ripping through me exploding wave after wave pulsing
through me oh fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
ohhhhhhhhhhh goddddddddddddddddd suddenly
the orgasm floods me rocking me. …..Flesh throbbing oh
{Artful} for his own pleasure
{Artful} you will focus on me natasha … or the cost will be great
{Artful} beyond what you can pay  yet from your flesh I will extract
payment and take you beyond what you ever imagined
{natasha} unbroken tremors of pure ecstasy  my orgasm radiates  rips
through me… orgasm not  stopping forcing cry after cry out
of me……screaming oh god …back arched… hips frozen in
the air  my legs straighten and stiffen …..color …light
…..a bed of stars
{Artful} you are soo owned by me natasha..
{Artful} you cannot resist…your will is not your own it all belongs
to me
{natasha} my hips ride up and remain suspended in the air by virtue of
the tension in me yes Master oh  god yes I am yourssssss……
{Artful}  releases your hair to grip your nipple again..
{natasha} loosing all sense of time exploding pure energy collapsing
into the hand that grips me
{Artful} and pull you close to me
{natasha} trembles
{Artful} and take your mouth onto mine
{natasha} hold me Master please
{Artful} invading you with my tongue
{natasha} as I drift in this sea of surrender
{Artful} slides to the floor
{natasha} my supplication complete
{Artful} and pulls you onto his lap and cradles you..
{Artful} limp in my arms feeling your muffled whimpers..
{Artful} against my chest rocking gently..
{natasha} lays in your arms captured by your eyes,  breathing fast face
drenched in perspiration and tears
{Artful} stroking your hair
{Artful} soothing you with the softness of his love
{Artful} saying nothing.. yet speaking volumes
{natasha} I float on a sea of tenderness
{natasha} looking up at you
{natasha} loving you
{natasha} focused
{Artful} pouring the sweet love from his heart
{Artful} bathing her in his love and control
{Artful} looks at his treasure and smiles
{natasha} I kiss you gently tasting my tears on your face
{Artful} leans to lick the tears from your cheeks..
{Artful} smiling
{Artful} my soul enveloping the both of us
{Artful} soothing us in a magical peace..
{natasha} spacing out… floating
{Artful} born of our perfect love
{natasha} peaceful….hard to type
{Artful} the full circle..
{Artful} our passionate mobuis
{Artful} never ending..
{Artful} never yielding
{Artful} never wavering
{Artful} always protecting
{Artful} always nurturing
{Artful} always pruning
{Artful} so complete
{natasha} yes Master
{Artful} complete
{Artful} god how I adore you
{natasha} in the safenesss of your control your dominance…I am whole
in a totally different way than I have ever been
{Artful} sits back and takes a deep breath
{Artful} smiling
{Artful} pleased with his loving slave
{Artful} we share a single soul natasha..
{Artful} but I am the keeper of that soul..
{natasha} smiles
{Artful} when your focus shifts..
{Artful} you momentarily venture out of our magic..
{Artful} this is why I will always snap you back
{natasha} Master I do not venture out just lose site of it
{Artful} yes I understand
{natasha} it is always with me
{Artful} natasha I love you so
{natasha} I love you so Master
{Artful} what we have is a rare and priceless gem..
{Artful} unmatched and you know what my love..
{natasha} smiles
{natasha} what my Master
{Artful} it is still a child
{Artful} young and tender
{natasha} Yes my Master and must be cared for with vigilance…
protected and you do it so well
{Artful} it will continue to grow..
{Artful} and mature…
{Artful} but children are resilient
{Artful} pets your pubic hair.. still soaking wet
{natasha} sighs and sinks in to you
{Artful} smiling
{Artful} how’s my little treasure
{natasha} smiles content
{natasha} soft…yielding … yours
{Artful} smiles and sweetly growls
{Artful} mmmm
{Artful} so soft and sweet
{natasha} closes her eyes
{Artful} pets it
{natasha} reaches inside and just feels
{Artful} so moist
{Artful} so pretty
{Artful} I love it
{Artful} and
{natasha} thinking of one of her favorite quotes
{Artful} I love YOU
{Artful} god how you fill me
{Artful} sigh
{Artful} tell me the quote my love
{Artful} I long for the day when you can lay against me like this for
{natasha} Your vision will become clear when you  look into your
heart… who looks outside dreams… who looks inside awakens.
{Artful} we will have scenes last for hours…….
{Artful} even days
{Artful} smiles at your words.. and leans to place sweet kisses on
your cheek
{Artful} oh natasha
{natasha} smiles and makes small soft noises
{Artful} imagine a scene that lasts for days..
{Artful} stooping only for short naps..
{natasha} the sound is not a moan… or a whimper but a tender sound of
surrender and happiness
{Artful} and a small meal here and there
{Artful} taking you to a place beyond this world
{natasha} and some ice on my bottom and pussy to cool the fires you
{Artful} mmm
{Artful} we’ll see
{Artful} smiles
{Artful} you will take little naps..
{Artful} on a mat
{Artful} chained to a pole
{Artful} and I will awaken you..
{Artful} to begin again..
*natasha  moans oh goddddddddd
{Artful} yet always bring you back to the safety of my soul
{Artful} the peace of my love

19 November 1994


Master I am laughing … this diary has revealed us so completely ..it is a catch 22 because in essence it is written for us and that is what guides me…but it also is read by many people and I am aware that within this lifestyles there are different intensities …strong opinions to right and wrong … what is over the line for some is mild for others…but I feel I can not bow to that and continue to submit to you those logs which I feel we can look back on and see our progression our growth…we are so intimate …so close… you have stripped me of much shame … you have pushed me and pulled me and guided me from our first encounter… I have burst out of inhibitions and into a freedom that allows me to soar… to explore…I often went out side my self for the truth you have showed me in so many ways my quest is within me within us…words easily said but to take someone to that place is another thing completely. You always ask me how I feel and then use that knowledge to spur me on..your focus is incredible… You are a Master among Masters…. this short humorous exchange came as you read tomorrow’s diary entry…laughing I adore you Master I will turn the music up the dance continues….

{Artful} I’m reading it over again.. and yes.  its RAW..
{Artful} smiles
{Artful} goddddddd
{Artful} I love that
{Artful} Geezeeee its raw – smiling
{natasha} can we put it in the diary or is it to revealing
{Artful} awwwwwww
{Artful} what the hell
{Artful} lets just ram it in there
{Artful} savagely thrust it into the diary
{Artful} bang it into the html …
{Artful} over.. and over again..
{natasha} howling with laughter oh god…
{Artful} till its properly formatted.. and released to the public
{natasha} roarrrrrrrrr
{natasha} Master if you feel uncomfortable I understand
{natasha} the fact that you read it is enough for me
{Artful} did you enjoy your pain last night my natasha
{natasha} yes Master it centered me again you always center me pull me
back … I am your?s

18 November 1994

Now for some quick clues to whether a Dom is worth talking to:

If he does not talk about sex in the first few minutes.

If he shares some of himself with you and not just gives you orders or questions.

If he does not ask what you are wearing in the first few minutes.

If he does inquire politely if you have a Top, master, or belong to someone. He needs to know if he should get permission from your Master to even talk to you. A courtesy that cyber-idiots don’t understand.

If he asks about other topics of interest. Other than BDSM it is a big world out there.

If he asks what you are interested in. Is he is a good listener. Every good top I ever met could listen.

If he is sure of himself without being judgmental.

Has he read any books on BDSM

Leonard thank you for this post…it seems to be an issue we all deal with when we endeavor to make friendships through electronic communication…

I think most people are worth speaking to each person is a gift though some make finding their worth too much trouble to find….I would like to add a couple of thoughts to this…

Once you have determined if a person is someone you want to share your most precious commodity with your time there are some more things I feel are important.

Because electronic communication enables many to talk the talk…even if they can not walk the walk… People leave clues of who they are… Listen carefully, watch for contradictions.

Are you looking for a friend … Someone to laugh with grow with no intent of a D/s relationship…If that is the scope of your interests as it is with me since I committed to Artful. Then just the pleasure of their company is sufficient… and a mutual respect.

This can be broken down further of course are you looking for someone to just scene with or a relationship that is full circle… I am going to comment on full circle relationships at this point.

If you are speaking to a Dominant and looking to develop a relationship dig deep as you begin on the path…could this person be your friend if he/she was not going to be your dominant.

Do you want to meet real life or cyber this is a big question to be answered most honestly and what is your envisioned time table … I believe in an extended period of time just for safety reasons… People leave clues no matter what they say if you listen and observe much can be seen between the lines.

Would you have fun out of a D/s context i.e.: going for a walk on the beach climbing a mountain, going to the symphony, cooking a meal together, sitting side by side reading a book or poetry together, playing cards.

Are your D/s interest similar do you both like the same kind of play…If you need heavy Domination and the top you are speaking with is not really into control likes maybe a little bondage and spanking but is not interested in heavy control you will be frustrated and if the opposite is true you will have a hard time fulfilling his needs. ( I am going to use him and dominant it is inclusive of Dommes as well)

Are your fantasies pleasing to the top are his fantasies pleasing to you.

Does he mirror your words or disagree with you or explain perhaps another way to look at what you are saying. This is important very very important …remember talking the talk is easy walking the walk means the thoughts are yours not a rewording of what has been said by you or others but his beliefs.) Is he willing to discuss and negotiate but not willing to adjust his whole way of being for you…

As the relationship develops and you test him does he adjust for you become the Dominant he thinks you want or protect what you have ( a D/s relationship) by staying in control at the risk of losing you does he stay true to himself.

Is he honorable? If he is a friend and you are speaking to him of troubles with your Dominant …does he influence you for his own gain?

Does he respect you tell you of your worth…or tear you down without rebuilding you.

Are your beliefs in multiple relationships or monogamy in tune. If you feel sharing your Dominant is something you would not like and the Dominant has 2 slaves already …. why continue or hope you can change this… multiple relationships take a great deal of forethought, maturity, openness and care if you feel you could not handle it, it would cause you pain it is something to think about… Also some people who are capable of multiple relationships do not want to concentrate any energy on anything but one relationship.

Can you surrender to him …submit…do you trust him to take you further but no further than you can go and stay mentally healthy?

Are there more things you agree on than disagree…

Is he open… tell you his name … a way to reach him …. can this information be verified…if he doesn’t or will not why, what is his reason is it valid i.e. he needs to know you better have more trust… you should most likely be as guarded with information as he is.

These are but a few of the things that come to mind I could write a book on this subject…

As you move on and he becomes part of your life… before he becomes your `Master`

If this dominant asked you for your thought at any given moment could you give it to him… do you have that level of trust and honesty to tell him your feelings… Can you take him to your darkest corners, your fears, your joys, your tears, your quiet moments with equal honesty.

Does he hold you up… reveal yourself to you by stretching your horizons , push you, cherish you as you cherish him.

And most of all can you say to yourself I am being totally honest with this Dominant there is nothing I hold back… The Dominant can only be as good as the submissive ….you are a team….

I can not close this without saying to my Master Artful you are all this and more you are in my every thought ….you inspire me and guide me at every moment as I wrote this I kept thinking I can not wait to meet you on line… I wrote this for you Master as I do everything I do with you in my mind…In all truth this post could of been book length because it reflects our Life together… It reflects some of the qualities that make me your submissive but only a few….I adore you natasha

17 November 1994

My Master My Heart:

This letter which is will be short not long flowing or eloquent is simply to say I love you I live to serve you and please you.

I want to thank you for the time, the patience, your love, your never failing Dominion that has enabled me to reach deep to my core, to my shame, to raw joy.

Thank you for enabling me to find freedom in the bonds of my slavery. A freedom I could only guess imagine… a joy I could only know might exist…

Your adoring slave natasha

16 November 1994

Master I loved this exchange between us …I kept splitting away (splitting is a term used on irc to denote being separated for a time by the connection on the net) and coming back to finds words to treasure from you…In particular the words at the end of this log move me I read them over and over…You teach me so much with strength, humility, and laughter Master I adore you …The dance continues…

{Artful}  I’m here and I’m deeply in love  with a  slave
{Artful}  named natasha… natasha the lioness
{natasha}  laughing  and smiling I roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
{natasha}  Life is a dance….A Dance of words and feelings… Our
dance continues
{Artful}  you are my Stradivarius ..
{Artful}  a priceless violin..
{Artful}  and I stretch your strings so tight..
{Artful}  tune you to perfection..
{natasha}  grins I am your toy
{Artful}  care for your rare wood..
{natasha}  I am what ever you wish me to be
{natasha}  because I am yours
{Artful}  I play you..
{Artful}  make you sing..
{Artful}  dance a pizzicato on you
{Artful}  as I run my fingers up your neck
{Artful}  and slide my bow across your tightly stretched strings..
{Artful}  be right back my agape slave
{natasha}  I will await your return I am filled with thoughts of you
{Artful}  oh god how you leave me thunderstruck.. each moment I
think of you
{Artful}  you are my perfection
{Artful}  you are my completion..
{Artful}  my finishing touch
{Artful}  and I am your rock..
{Artful}  your cornerstone..
{Artful}  your eternal foundation
{Artful}  I adore you my natasha..
{Artful}  oh god how my heart sings
{natasha}  grins listening bathed in her Masters words…at times you
render me speechless
{natasha}  I am back I am sorry I had to do a couple of things the
door bell rang the phone all at once
{Artful}  I’m back
{natasha}  oh perfect timing
{Artful}  our timing is almost always perfect
{natasha}  laughing out loud yes I misbehave and you punish me
immediately …perfect timing
{natasha}  laughing
{natasha}  I lust for you and you take me immediately yes perfect
{Artful}  smiles
{Artful}  god I want you
{Artful}  I throb and pulsate for you
{Artful}  I ache for you
{natasha}  I desire to sit quietly by your feet …. perfect
{natasha}  you call to me I come
{natasha}  yes perfect
{natasha}  you need me I am there… yes perfect
{Artful}  my cock thickens.. and my balls are heavy for you
{Artful}  you lay your self open….
{natasha}  responds perfectly by becoming wet
{natasha}  smiling
{Artful}  avail yourself totally… limitless… total trust
{Artful}  like that of a child..
{natasha}  yes Master the only limits are those you deem we should
{Artful}  yet the strength and wisdom of a woman
{natasha}  I trust you completely
{Artful}  the beauty of a goddess
{natasha}  oh Master we had the same thought again on boundaries
{Artful}  we are the same soul
{Artful}  so our minds are always touching
{Artful}  thoughts mixing
{natasha}  Master it is good we found each other laughing since you
and I might be the only two in this world that know the
other is perfect
{Artful}  just as I fill you with my body fluids
{natasha}  laughing gaily
{Artful}  I also fill you with my thoughts
{Artful}  you fill me with your typos
{natasha}  laughing… all those things you fill me with no wonder I
over flow
{Artful}  a more perfect love cannot exist
{natasha}  yes it can Master
{natasha}  know what it is?
{Artful}  a more perfect union.. there cannot be
{Artful}  when we are together of course
{Artful}  but there is no time..
{Artful}  we are perfect in this moment..
{natasha}  The more perfect love is the love we have tomorrow and
tomorrow’s tomorrow because it just continues to grow
{Artful}  that is our journey natasha..
{natasha}  Yes Master it is
{Artful}  it will feel more fulfilling and more intense..
{Artful}  but it will be no more perfect than it is at this moment..
{Artful}  we are at exactly the mile marker where we are supposed to
{Artful}  for this moment
{natasha}  The path the screamed within me to be walked on the path
you have taken us to
{Artful}  forever growing.. adventure after adventure… always
knowing where home is.. always trusting…forgiving each
others frailties..  taking joy in each others shame… for
it is that humanness that makes us who we are  our
frailties are themselves .. perfection…for frail humans
is who we are we are perfect.. you reach deep into me..
give me your surrender..  I reach into you.  and take your
power…we cannot avoid also reaching our perfect
frailties…so we rejoice.. in acceptance.. and
understanding of the truth of who we are.. we were made
like gods.. but in fact we are human…. yet you worship me
as your Master… as your head.. and I worship you as my
body the body must surrender to the head..  but if the head
damages the body.. he himself is also damaged one cannot
exist with out the other..  they serve one another.. each
in their own way… in humility there is power.. in
surrender there is victory…in death (to the old self)
there is ever lasting life..it is the spiritual paradox..
the essence of the exchange of power … I cannot say why
it works…I only know that it does..  and this truth is
mirrored all around us in nature ..  if we have eyes to see
{Artful}  god how I adore you my slave
{Artful}  my sweet surrender
{Artful}  my perpetual miracle
{natasha}  Master I saw your words rejoiced in them but was frozen in
net space…. and returned to your arms knowing a bit more
than before I left them …as always … I adore you
{Artful}  I was dumping my soul..
{Artful}  I hope they made sense to you
{Artful}  my fingers wouldn’t stop
{natasha}  absolutely
{Artful}  smile